(Note: I use AI to help me translate my stories from Japanese to English.)
“You should not praise another woman in front of a woman.”
These are words from Kōshū Itabashi, a Japanese Zen monk.
I have read some of his books and even attended one of his talks in person.
I first came across this saying in one of his books, and it left a strong impression on me. What made it even more memorable was that he wrote it had taken him 80 years to understand this simple idea.
Perhaps when Itabashi praised another woman in front of a woman, he noticed that she looked disappointed.
I think this idea also applies to men. For example, “You should not praise another man in front of a man.”
When I worked in an office, some female colleagues praised a famous male athlete. When I heard that, I felt uncomfortable. It made me feel as if I were being criticized indirectly.
I have also made a similar mistake.
At work, I once praised another woman in front of a female colleague. Looking back, I realize that I didn’t understand human psychology. She must have felt uncomfortable.
Itabashi said it took him 80 years to realize this. We should be careful when praising someone in front of others.