(Note: I use AI to help me translate my stories from Japanese to English.)
People don’t think about you as much as you think.
I like this quote.
I care a lot about what other people think of me. Do they dislike me? Do they speak ill of me? Do they laugh at me?
However, in my experience, people don’t think about others very much. I mostly think about myself—my past and my future.
I probably think about myself for 59 minutes out of every hour.
People are very busy, so they don’t pay much attention to others.
I found some interesting lines in the famous book How to Win Friends and Influence People:
“People are not interested in you. They are not interested in me. They are interested in themselves—morning, noon, and after dinner.”
“When you see a group photograph that you are in, whose picture do you look for first?”
I have been told, “People are not interested in you. They don’t think about you,” twice.
The first time was when I was at university. A professor said this to me because I looked nervous and cared too much about what others thought.
The second time was at work. My boss said it when I was very sensitive and lacked confidence.
If you worry too much about what others think, it becomes difficult to take action.
There are two famous Japanese people who traveled as hitchhikers when they were young. One is now a famous comedian, and the other is a successful businessperson.
I think hitchhiking is very embarrassing and difficult. Some drivers may laugh at you or get angry. You have to talk to strangers.
That experience may have helped them succeed later. They talked to many strangers and experienced rejection repeatedly. Through that, they learned not to care too much about what others think.
I also found an interesting line in another book by Dale Carnegie:
(Leo Tolstoy was worried about what future generations would think about him.) However, the author wrote:
“We are too concerned with our own problems to waste a minute thinking about the Tolstoys.”
You might think it is difficult not to care about what others think, even if you understand this idea. I feel the same way.
And I think that’s okay. If people don’t care at all about what others think, they may become selfish. They might hurt others and behave badly.
Caring about others means you are kind.
The key is balance—thinking about others, but not too much.
People don’t think about you as much as you think. This idea gives you freedom.
You and I care too much about what others think. But other people are busy thinking about themselves—just like us.