(Note: I use AI to help me translate my stories from Japanese to English.)
Several months ago, I came across this phrase when I was reading a book called Meditations for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman.
I was very surprised when I learned about this idea. It felt like my world had turned upside down.
You probably know the Golden Rule. It’s one of the most important ethical principles in life: Treat others the way you want to be treated.
Both Jesus and Confucius taught this rule.
Children can easily understand it, but adults often find it difficult to practice.
So, what is the Reverse Golden Rule?
It’s the opposite of the Golden Rule: Treat yourself the way you want others to be treated.
People tend to criticize themselves the most.
When you make mistakes, you probably use harsh words toward yourself in your mind. But you wouldn’t say those same harsh words to your friends, because you love them and don’t want to hurt their feelings.
If you apply the Reverse Golden Rule when you experience failure, you should speak kindly to yourself in your mind.
“It’s OK. Everyone makes mistakes. You can grow when you make mistakes.”
It’s important to talk to yourself like this.
Do you criticize yourself when you compare yourself with others?
I often compare myself with my friends. I say things like,
“My friends hold high positions. They’re respected by many people. But I haven’t achieved anything great. I’m nobody.”
However, if I apply the Reverse Golden Rule, I can say,
“I’ve done many things. Everyone is different. It’s important to walk my own path, not to compete with others.”
Your own existence is the closest to you, so it’s easy to treat yourself carelessly. But if you treat yourself badly, you lose your energy — and when that happens, you can’t be kind to others either.
Valuing yourself is not selfish; it’s actually good for others too.
Practicing the Reverse Golden Rule helps both you and the people around you.
Treat yourself the way you want others to be treated. It’s easy to say, but difficult to do. We need practice.
You have to live with yourself for the rest of your life, so be kind to yourself as you would to a friend. Then you’ll become your own best friend.